So You Wanna Be Rockstar
by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee
Summary: Franciose Bonnefoy is the lead singer of a new incredibly popular band. Arthur Kirkland is a musician trying to create a solo career after the breakup of his last band, Hail Britannia. When Arthur agrees to be Franciose's opening act, it's hate at first sight. But a tour is a long time and love works in mysterious ways, even for a punk and a pop princess. UK x Fem!France
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue: Two Years Previously…**

**Hail Britannia Breaking Up**

**By: Toris Laurinaitis**

After three years, punk rock band Hail Britannia has announced that they will be breaking up after their current tour of Europe. The band, which has garnered both a large mainstream as well as an expansive cult following in their years together, cited creative differences and a need to explore other options as the reason behind their sudden decision to disband.

"It's time," stated keyboardist Robin Kirkland in an interview, "We are all growing up, we never really thought Hail Britannia would get this big. It was originally just all of us goofing off in our parents' garage. We are incredibly grateful for the opportunities that Hail Britannia has brought us and we do truly love our fans, but Hail Britannia's time has passed."

When asked if his upcoming marriage to artist Scarlet O'Shaughnessy had anything to do with the band's dissolution, Robin denied any connection between his paramour and the end of Hail Britannia. "I would have married Scarlet anyway. Love is like that, but I am glad that we won't have to spend our honeymoon cooped up on a tour bus with my brothers and sister, _that _would have been awkward."

Guitarist Aedant Kirkland backed her brother's stance on the band's end, "We're not the teens we used to be, we grew and changed and Hail Britannia wouldn't be the same if we kept forcing it to continue. All things end, and HBrit is one of them."

When asked if family squabbles brought on the band's demise, Aedant responded surprisingly forcefully, "We're siblings, we fight all the time, but we still love and support each other. When you've got the pressure of the band and the fan's expectations, and the grueling road schedule, plus being stuck in tight quarters with people who are genetically engineered to drive you up the wall, tensions can run high. At this point in our lives it would be detrimental to our relationships and our music if we stayed together."

Neither Aedant nor Robin was willing to comment on rumors surrounding oldest brother, lead singer, and bassist Scott Kirkland's drinking problem. Scott's face has been a common sight in tabloids since he showed up to a show in Cardiff, apparently heavily intoxicated, last December. Images of this, plus leaked photos of Arthur Kirkland, lead guitarist and youngest band member, hospitalized after what appeared to be a violent fight, helped spur rumors of Scott's alcoholism and anger issues. Patrick Kirkland, drummer, was the only sibling willing to discuss the issue, if one did exist. "Scott has his problems and he knows it. We are working as a family to get our relationships back on track and our priorities straight. As important as our fans and our music is to us, we realize that family should come first. We've had some rough times and we plan on coming out of them stronger and better than ever."

This optimistic view does not appear to be shared by Art Kirkland, as he has refused to comment on either the rumors surrounding himself and his brother or the band's dissolution. The only statement he was willing to make was, as usual, sharp and to the point, "Hail Britannia may be over, but the music isn't dead," the seventeen-year-old star said, "Maybe it'll come back, maybe it won't. But I'm not leaving it alone. I'll be back."

Hail Britannia plan on performing a farewell show in London this March. Their official disbandment announcement can be found on their fansite, along with exclusive editions of their most popular songs. FryingPanFighter Records have not officially released a statement regarding rumors of a greatest hits album. However, the band's manager, Roderich Edelstien, has dropped a few hints regarding the possibility.

_**Top User Comments: **_

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **Dude! No freaking way! HBrit can't disband! That is so freaking WRONG and FREAKING UNAWESOME! Day. Ruined.

**kickassmafiachick: **Dammit, Scott you BASTARD! Get your drunk, violent ass in rehab and get back to making badass music!

**MapleLover1867: **Maybe it's for the best? Give these guys a break, they've had it rough. And who knows, Art might go solo…

**tomato_turtle_king: ¿**Por qué? Este es mi grupo de música favorita… Estoy muy triste ahora.

**faucetpipessolveallproblems: **If we do not get more good music we can hurt them, da?

**myFABULOUSpinklife: **Oh, like, this is absolutely, totally, _not cool. _I can't believe they're totally breaking up. I'm going to go cry in, like a corner or something. My life is over.

**KoalaMan1931: **Oh, this is bad, what the hell am I going to listen to now? All my country's got on the radio is this sappy pop crap, I want some PUNK ROCK, and here they are, taking it away from me. Not. Cool. Man. Men. Whatever. (and chick, too, cuz Aedant's a sheila…)

**makePASTAnotwar: **Aww, that's so sad. I really liked them. Aedant's voice on "Rose Colored Glass" always brings me to tears and the emotion in "I'm Not Bitter, Just Jaded" and "Love and Other Disasters" is just so powerful… I'm crying now. I've got to go make pasta, or something. I'm just too sad…

**LiverwurstWarrior: **It is good they are finding their own paths. I now have nothing to listen to. Damn. Art needs to go solo. I need decent music. I am now going to go play "Misery Loves Company (Now Go Away)" at top volume. Thank you, Hail Britannia for three good years and good music.

_** /goodbye**_

**To Our Fans**

Hi there, all you lot. It's been a great three years and we really wanted to thank you here on the fansite before the farewell concert. We wouldn't be here today if it weren't for your never-ending support. We love you all and want you to know that you all rock.

Thank you,

Hail Britannia

_** /publicfeed**_

**I'm Sorry, Arthur**

Art, this is Scott. I'm sober, I promise. My spelling'd be a lot worse if I were pissed. But Patrick's been keeping me clean the past few weeks. Yeah, I know this is a public feed and all, and an arse-load of fans are gonna see this before you do, but this is important, and, bugger it all I just don't care if fans see it.

I am so sorry Arthur. You have no idea how sorry I am for what happened, Artie. I had no right to hit you, and it's pretty much all my fault you ended up in the hospital. Yeah, I know you hit back and we were both pretty drunk, and I was _really _drunk, but I started it and I deserve the blame.

So, there it is, Art. Your big brother, who's been a pretty damn shoddy big brother the past few months, is apologizing. You don't have to accept. You don't have to read this. But I wanted you (and a few hundred others) to know about this. I wrote a song. It's pretty crappy, but I was emotionally moved and shit and there it is. The YouTube link's at the bottom of the page. Go watch it if you want.

Yeah, that's about it.

-Scott Kirkland

_** /publicfeed**_

**This is Art**

This is my response. The video link is at the bottom of the page.

_** /forum**_

**Top Comments on "I'm Sorry, Arthur" and "This is Art" **

**makePASTAnotwar: **I'm crying. Mi sorella is staring at me and I'm crying like a baby. Scott's apology song and Art's song… aaaaahhhh!

**kickassmafiachick: ** My sister was sobbing her freaking eyes out over these vids, so I watched them. I'm a little teary. Okay, I'm freaking bawling, does that make you happy, you damn nosy bastards?!

**Maplelover1867: **That was well done. Scott's song was heartfelt and sweet, but I think Art was completely right to not commit to accepting his apology. I mean, COME ON, Art was HOSPITALIZED after that fight.

**LiverwurstWarrior: **Art makes a good point in his song, "Unforgiven". Humanity is a seriously messed up thing sometimes. I appreciate that he chose to go philosophical in the song rather than lash out at his brother or jump into a premature acceptance of the apology.

**faucetpipessolveallproblems: **I see no point in this. It did not result in me getting more music. But I appreciate the darker nature of "Unforgiven". I will be stealing it from the internet.

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **I am inspired. The awesome me will make a band. This will happen. I just need to convince my awesome posse to be as awesome as me and join my band…

**tomato_turtle_king: **Los canciones son muy buenos, me gusta los emociones en las palabras y en la música. Son muy realísticas. Y MeAndMyAwesome… no quiero ingresar en su grupo de música…

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **Dude, tomato_turtle_king, Antonio, RELAX. This band is going to be completely freaking AWESOME (like me). I've already got Franciose to agree to sing lead, and you know how bad-ass her vocals are. We just need you and your guitar, cuz I already kick ass on drums. We're gonna be called The Bad Touch Trio and we're going be AWESOME! (btw, dude, I know you can speak/write English, you're just showing off your Spanish-ness trying to pick up internet chicks).

**tomato_turtle_king: **Fine. I will join your band. It could be fun.

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **Sweeeetttt! You won't regret this!...Much.

**Author's Note: So here we are, with a new fic. This was meant to be a one-shot but then I started brainstorming with a friend of mine and BAM, a new multi-chapter fic was born. I'm very happy with this one; I have big plans for it. It won't all be in this funky internet-style, I just wanted to experiment with it because it's interesting. This style will pop up in future chapters, but narrative should start by chapter 3. **

**This is a UK x Fem!France fic, but she won't be making an appearance until next chapter… but when she does show up it will be good. **

**Antonio's Spanish is not from a translator, it is from me, so please excuse any grammar mistakes. **

**Translations:**

**¿Por qué? Este es mi grupo de música favorita… ****Estoy muy triste ahora. : Why? This is my favorite band… now I'm really sad. **

**Los canciones son muy buenos, me gusta los emociones en las palabras y en la música. Son muy realísticas. ****Y MeAndMyAwesome… no quiero ingresar en su grupo de música… : The songs were very good, I liked the emotion in the words and music, they are very realisitic. And, MeAndMyAwesome, I don't want to join your band…**

**I tried to make it obvious who everyone was as far as internet names, I'm not sure how well I succeeded, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. As far as I know there are no canon names for England's siblings, so I took some creative license with those; Patrick is the Republic of Ireland, Aedant is Northern Ireland, Robin is Wales, and Scott is Scotland. **

**Please REVIEW and let me know what you think so far, I love hearing from people! See you next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Now **

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Roderich Edelstien**

**RE: Getting Back Into the Game**

Art,

Elizabeta and I may have found a good opportunity for you to generate more publicity for the new album. Please be aware that your two-year hiatus, plus your new stage name have managed to almost completely cut your ties with Hail Britannia. As such, you will have to 'start for the beginning' as it is. You can't ride on the coattails of former glory.

While this is essentially a beginner position, we do hope that you don't take it as such. We are suggesting that you tour Europe as the opening act for a new group. You've probably heard of them, they go by The Bad Touch Trio and have become astonishingly popular in the past year or so. They need a solid opener and I was hoping you'd be able to work as a sort of stabilizing influence. They are very new to large stadium performances and could use the advice and support of a veteran performer.

Please respond as soon as possible. The tour is scheduled to leave this spring. We need an answer by February.

Sincerely,

Roderich

**To: Roderich Edelstein**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: Getting Back Into the Game**

Roderich,

I will do it. I'll come by the office to discuss the details with you and Elizabeta soon.

Thank you,

Art

** /open_feed**

**The Tour!**

What's up awesome fans? This is the awesome Gil speaking to you about our badass tour in a few months. We're all super psyched to travel around the continent and meet so many of your awesome selves! We're scheduled to start rehearsals in a few days and I am super EXCITED! And so is the rest of the band, so LOOK OUT EUROPE, THE BAD TOUCH TRIO'S COMING FOR A VISIT!

Stay Awesome,

Gil Beilschmidt

** /open_feed**

**Our Opening Act **

!Hola! ?Como estas mi grupo de personas favoritas?

This is Toni, here to formally announce our opening act for this summer's tour. We are very happy to have him on board. Our opener will be Art Camelot. We have not met him yet but are very much looking forward to it.

Tomatoes forever,

Toni Carriedo

** /user_comments**

**Top Comments for "The Tour!" and "Our Opening Act" **

**LordofthePandas: **Aiyah, I am so excited for the BTT tour, aru! I have had my tickets reserved for months! I am so glad I chose to study abroad this year!

**makePASTAnotwar: **Veeee~! The first stop is Italia! My home country! I am so excited!

**LiverwurstWarrior: **I have looked up this Art Camelot's music. It is good. Am I the only one who thinks he sounds like Arthur Kirkland from Hail Britannia?

**tomato_turtle_king: **I agree with you, LiverwurstWarrior, but no one seems to agree with me!

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **Dude, Toni, you can't comment on your own fansite. That just… doesn't work. Especially if it's your own post. Kind of Unawesome.

**kickassmafiachick: **Gil, you'd better not be bullying my boyfriend again, you potato bastard!

**tomato_turtle_king: **Chiara! Mi tomata pequeña!

**kickassmafiachick: **TONI! QUIT IT WITH THE WEIRD NICKNAMES!

**YourTrueLove: **Ah, l'amour is a beautiful thing…

**kickassmafiachick: ** Stay out of this, Francoise! I can tell you're laughing your ass off right now and I DON'T APPRECIATE IT!

**tomato_turtle_king: **She's so cute when she's angry ~

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **Dude, back away slowly, this is one fight you do not want to be a part of…

**YourTrueLove: **Pssh, discussing your love lives isn't fighting, it's an active discussion amongst women. A lofty and dignified idea your petty minds are too feeble to understand.

**MeAndMyAWESOME: ** Francoise, did you just call me stupid?

**YourTrueLove: **My words are one of life's great mysteries. Gems of wisdom, I find they are poured upon deaf ears…

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **She's insulting me isn't she? And laughing her ass off.

**kickassmafiachick: **She's not the only one laughing, potato bastard.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **This is pathetic.

**YourTrueLove: **What was that?

**TattooedTeatotaler: **This. Is. PATHETIC.

**YourTrueLove: **Didn't your mother ever teach you the finer points of etiquette? I believe the first lesson generally involves not interrupting people with rude comments.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Snobbishness doesn't work on me, princess.

**YourTrueLove: **Of course not, your air of pretentiousness is far too thick. It chokes out anyone else's dignity.

**tomato_turtle_king: **TattooedTeatotaler, before you make Francoise angry enough to perpetrate the first ever cyber-murder, could you explain what you meant by 'pathetic'?

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Pathetic. Adjective. Contemptibly inadequate. Pitiful. Sad. Wretched.

**kickassmafiachick: **We already knew what it meant, idiota.

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **I didn't…

**YourTrueLove: **That is NOT something you admit online to the tactless man insulting you, Gil.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Need I say more or shall I allow you lot to self-destruct on your own?

**tomato_turtle_king: **I just wanted you to elaborate, not for you to continue to pick at my friends.

**TattooedTeatotaler: ** Pathetic. It is pathetic that you, the _band members _are cluttering up your own comment section on _your own fansite_ with your petty bickering. Text. Personal Message. Send bloody _smoke signals. _The modern world is full of many marvelous modes of communication. It is absurd and pathetic that you're filling up your own comments section just to make yourselves feel better.

**YourTrueLove: **_Feel better? _What do we have to feel _better _about, pray tell?

**TattooedTeatotaler: ** Hmm, perhaps the fact that every single song you've released thus far has simply been the exact same recycled pop-rock formula as your first number one hit? Or the fact that as a group you are skating by on your good looks and petty drama alone, not bothering to expand your fanbase beyond star-struck wannabes who couldn't appreciate real music if it were beating them over the heads with a speaker? Or perhaps the sad fact that your music might actually be _good _if you didn't leave your best songs buried in the middle of your albums, never to see the light of radio-wave daylight?

**YourTrueLove: **You. Pompous. Arrogant. Pretentious. _Bastard. _

**tomato_turtle_king: ** Mi enemigo, you are very wrong about us, though your way of expressing it is certainly… unique. I look forward to proving you even more wrong in the future, but for now I am fleeing like the sensible Spaniard I am, in case you anger Francoise enough for all the computers in the world to spontaneously combust.

**kickassmafiachick: **I'm with the tomato bastard on this one, Internet bastard. I'm out, I'm gonna listen to my FAVORITE Bad Touch Trio song, the very POPULAR single: '(If You're Going Out) Go With Style'. Ciao, Internet bastard. _Run While You Can. _

**tomato_turtle_king: **Ooh, Chiara, mi amor, was that last line a reference to Hail Britannia?

**kickassmafiachick: **…no…maybe a little…

**MeAndMyAWESOME: **Well, 'Run While You Can' is one of my fav HBrit songs, so I'm gonna listen to it while Francoise defends the honor of our badass, incredibly AWESOME band. See ya losers.

**YourTrueLove: **I bet you hate HBrit too; a pretentious bastard like you probably spends all his time listening to Chopin and critiquing Beethoven.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **I find them both tedious. And Hail Britannia is halfway decent, for angsty adolescent music.

**YourTrueLove: **I knew it. You aren't happy unless everyone else is miserable.

**TattooedTeatotaler: ** You look down your nose at the world.

**YourTrueLove: **As if you don't.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **I embrace contradictions. Life is pointless if everything is exactly the same.

**YourTrueLove: **Oh yes, embrace your hypocrisy and loathe everything around you. The rest of us in the real world don't mind _at all. _

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Contradictions are my bread and butter.

**YourTrueLove: **I hope you choke on them.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Every damn day.

**YourTrueLove: **You'd knock an angel out of the clouds just to see it fall.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **And you'd scream and rail about the injustice of it all but let convention tie your hands as you cry crocodile tears.

**YourTrueLove: **That sounds almost poetic. You're just some emo kid hiding in the locker room, taking out your frustrations on those who are more successful than you, aren't you?

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Punk, not emo. And you're not half bad as a poet yourself, princess.

**YourTrueLove: **I haven't been writing sweet poetic nothings at you, you insufferable troll!  
**TattooedTeatotaler: **Real poetry is harsh and cruel, princess. It is isn't then it isn't real.

**YourTrueLove: **Good god in heaven and all the saints too, I think I hate you very, very much.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **Princess, that's what songwriting's all about.

**YourTrueLove: **Hate? I beg to differ.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **And that is why all your radio releases suck.

**YourTrueLove: **You're saying, you arrogant ass, that my music isn't up to your standards because I don't _hate _enough? Well, I'm deeply sorry for having a happy life. I hope it doesn't _bother _you too much.

**TattooedTeatotaler: ** Not at all, princess. Songwriting is about what you're feeling, not the shit you're thinking. What the hell else is music for? Make it interesting.

**YourTrueLove: ** …

**TattooedTeatotaler: **If you've gotten over your shock, princess, then I've got a blog you should check out, if you ever want to write halfway decent music that doesn't make me want to surgically remove my eardrums. The link's attached to this comment.

**YourTrueLove: **I'll make sure to troll it and spam it with hate mail.

**TattooedTeatotaler: **I look forward to it, princess.

_A few hours later…_

**To: Roderich Edelstein**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: New Song**

I've written a new song. The audio clip is attached. It's got electric guitar and keyboard in it, but I am willing to consider acoustic if you demand it. Bear in mind that I will hate it. But I will consider it.

Art

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Roderich Edelstein**

**RE: New Song **

Art,

This is a very interesting and complex piece. It is very short notice, but Elizabeta loves it and demands that you record it in time to fit it onto the new album. And yes, I would like an acoustic version for the deluxe edition of the record.

By the way, what is the song's title? And where did this come from? You've been complaining of writer's block and sulking on your blog for weeks.

-Roderich Edelstein

**To: Roderich Edelstein**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: New Song **

I met someone interesting online. The song is titled 'Contrary by Nature (Hypocrite by Choice)'.

Art

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Elizabeta Herdevary-Edelstein**

**RE: New Song **

Ooh! You _met someone_?! A _girl?_

-Elizabeta

**To: Elizabeta Herdevary-Edelstein**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: New Song**

She is a girl and she hates me. I find her interesting and irritating.

-Art

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Elizabeta Herdevary-Edelstein**

**RE: New Song**

Oh, Art. You are quite the puzzle. You know I worry about you. I hope you do all right in Europe.

Elizabeta

**To: Elizabeta Herdevary-Edelstein**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: New Song**

I will be fine, Elizabeta. I am not as self-destructive as you think.

-Art

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Elizabeta Herdevary-Edelstein**

**RE: New Song**

I hope so, Art, I really hope so.

**To: Roderich Edelstein **

**From: Francoise Bonnefoy**

**RE:** I'm still working on song-writing…

Roderich,

I had this incredibly frustrating conversation with this insufferable bastard of a guy and I ended up writing this… I like the piano riffs and the music, but the lyrics are driving me mad. You said a long time ago if I wanted to work on my song-writing again you'd run my lyrics by one of your friends, a guy who's been writing music for a long time?

Would you be the world's most wondrous of managers and help me?

The audio file and the word doc with the lyrics are attached.

~ Francoise

**To: Francoise Bonnefoy**

**From: Roderich Edelstein **

**RE: I'm still working on song-writing…**

Francoise,

I will run it by my friend. He has been busy lately, but I am sure he will make time to look at your work.

-Roderich Edelstein

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Roderich Edelstein **

**RE: Something for you to do **

Arthur,

The lead singer of the Bad Touch Trio has decided to try song-writing again. She has the talent but needs some guidance. You wrote almost all of Hail Britannia's music and all of your own. I assume you can do a little thing like look over her work and jot down some pointers? 

The song is tentatively titled 'Crocodile Tears'. It seems to oddly complement the song you sent me the other day. I assume you can appreciate the irony?

Roderich Edelstein

**To: Roderich Edelstein **

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: Something for you to do **

I have included notations on the word document you sent me. It needs work but could become a solid song someday. The music arrangement was decent. The lyrics weren't abysmal.

I have hope for this tour.

-Art

_Later that month the Bad Touch Trio surprised a good portion of their fan base by releasing an unexpected single. Titled 'Crocodile Tears', it shot to the number one spot on iTunes within hours of release. Fans devoured it and critics praised it for its exploration of the deeper side of Bad Touch Trio along with its more mature and complex musical arrangement. _

_Art Camelot also released a single around the same time. It surprised critics, fans, and random bystanders by becoming nearly as instantly popular as the BTT's 'Crocodile Tears'. Occasionally considered to be 'Crocodile Tears' companion song by particularly hardcore fans, 'Contrary by Nature (Hypocrite by Choice)'was frequently played back to back with the BTT's hit, to the intense amusement of disc jockeys and radio announcers who would joke that the two songs each sounded like a half of a conversation. _

_They couldn't have been more right. _

_FryingPanFighter Records, the label for both parties, released only coy and unofficial statements regarding the hits. This of course, only served to fan the flames of the fan bases now even more eager to see the tour which would combine these two musical forces. _

_Francoise thought it silly that people thought the songs were so similar. Art found it quietly ironic. The rest of the BTT just ignored it as fans being fans, i.e. crazy. _

_As it was, tension and anticipation simply continued to build as everyone counted down the days until the tour began. _

**Author's Note: So, I'm pretty sure you've all guessed, but TattooedTeatotaler is, in fact, Arthur. But shh, Francoise doesn't know that yet, and it's a nice plot point down the road, so she's got to stay in the dark. For those who don't know, Teatotaling was a practice in England were the more religiously conservative would drink nothing stronger than tea (no alcohol of any kind). In my head-cannon Punk!England has tattoos (hence the 'Tattooed' part of the name) and in this AU, after Scott's drunken outburst and Art's subsequent beating, Arthur hasn't drunk any booze, (which will prove interesting later in the story…) and thus leads to the 'teatotaler' part of his screen-name. **

**Narrative starts next chapter! See you there! PLEASE REVIEW! I love hearing from you and seeing what you have to say brightens my day! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**To: Kiku Honda**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: I hate you**

Kiku,

This is ridiculous. I refuse to do this. It is demeaning, asinine, obnoxious, a monstrous waste of time and any other synonyms you can think of.

-Art

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Kiku Honda**

**RE: You don't actually hate me; your irritation is merely misplaced anger due to traumatic childhood experiences…**

Art,

As your psychiatrist, I feel that I am legally and professionally entitled to prescribe appropriate measures to ensure your emotional stability and health while on the road and unable to attend therapy sessions. I believe that a journal cataloguing your experiences and reactions will allow you to work through your feelings in a healthy manner and could potentially improve your interpersonal relationships. You are a very isolated person, I am concerned that your only emotional outlet is music and glaring at the people you care about.

So, as you would say "hate me all you want, bitch, you're still writing a journal".

I apologize for the rudeness. It was terrible, but very necessary.

Please forgive me.

Kiku Honda,

Where the Sun Rises Therapy and Psychiatric Practice

**To: Kiku Honda**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: Journal **

Do I have to let you read it?

Damn nosy therapist…

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Kiku Honda**

**RE: Journal**

If it will allow you to be honest with yourself, I will not force you to share your musings with me.

Kiku Honda,

Where the Sun Rises Therapy and Psychiatric Practice

**To: Kiku Honda**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: Fine. You win. **

Here are some ground rules:

You aren't allowed to read it.

I am not sharing it with anyone

I am putting it in Google Docs so Google can steal my copyright. I don't want anyone to get the bright idea to publish it as some sort of memoir.

I'm changing names and facts as much as I want.

-Art

**To: Arthur Kirkland**

**From: Kiku Honda**

**RE: Ground Rules**

Arthur, we have talked about this. Your paranoia regarding Google and strong dislike of all things American is irrational and concerning. Perhaps you should address that in a journal entry. I will allow you to keep your journal private, if it makes you more comfortable with the idea. However, you are not allowed to change names and facts. Turning this into a creative exercise, while entertaining for you, I am sure, only defeats the purpose.

Kiku Honda,

Where the Sun Rises Therapy and Psychiatric Practice

**To: Kiku Honda**

**From: Arthur Kirkland**

**RE: I can't win here, can I?**

Fine, no fact-changing. See you when I get back.

-Art

* * *

**Document 1: Art's Journal-Thing**

**Entry 1: **

I really hate my therapist. For one thing, I didn't need therapy. At all. I am a perfectly functioning 19-year-old adult. It doesn't matter that I don't have any friends outside of work. It doesn't matter that I haven't spoken to my oldest brother in two years. Or that I still have nightmares about the night Scott flew off the handle. Nope. I do not need therapy.

But, apparently my mother, Aedant, Robin, Patrick and Kiku-the-Therapist himself all disagree with me. And now Kiku-the-Therapist-from-Extremely-Polite-Hell wants me to keep a journal while on the road. As a substitute for therapy. Which I don't need.

I'm staring at the screen, wondering what else I'm supposed to write. This was supposed to be some sort of feelings repository, right? Well, here's a list of my feelings.

I'm still pretty pissed at his therapist. Seriously, Kiku thought a _journal _was a good idea? Do I look like a pre-teen girl with a secret diary?

I'm moderately aggravated at my mother for backing my therapist up on _everything. _Apparently Kiku copied her on all of our emails or she's the world's best hacker, because not five minutes after I caved to Kiku's demands, she was calling to make sure I actually set up the document and stared 'journaling.'

I'm INCREDIBLY PISSED at my brother Scott. The bastard just published a _book,_ a fucking _book _on his experiences as a teen star, his descent into addiction and eventual recovery. Critics were hailing the thing as: "Inspiring", "A gritty, honest look at the darker side of celebrity", "Chilling, and true", "Heartbreaking and soul-searching, it will leave the reader changed". My personal favorite, or least favorite, depending on whether or not we're using a scale of 'favorite to hate' or 'favorite to love', was the comment on the back cover. "You will never look at a Hail Britannia song the same. You will see the deeper meaning in the lyrics and the emotion behind the words in a whole new light. Life-changing for any true punk fan." What did Scott's shit have to do with _any _of the lyrics? Huh? Seeing as _I wrote them_ I'm pretty damn sure they had next to nothing to do with his craptastic choices.

One look at the cover, one glance at the title, "Life Trapped in Rose Colored Glass: the True Story of Scott Kirkland and Hail Britannia" makes me want to kill something. Or at least throw the thing across the room. I settled for the latter, feeling a cruel surge of pride when the corner or the hardcover dented and the dust-jacket tore a bit. What the bloody hell was his problem, anyway? What kind of arse publishes a _book _about all the shit he put his family through? Ugh, I'm done. I can't look at that thing anymore. It's going in my gym bag, underneath my shoes, let it get all muddy. Patrick is going to _pay _for sending me that crap.

**Entry: 2**

Okay, so yelling at the nicest person you know kind of sucks. Now I feel guilty. Here's the conversation: for your reading pleasure, computer.

ME: What the bloody hell, Patrick?!

PATRICK: Did you get the book?

ME: What do you think, git?

PATRICK: Did you read it?

ME: No!

PATRICK: You should read it.

ME: Bloody hell, _why? _I lived it, remember? I was there, that skinny little blond kid in the back who, I don't know, _wrote all Scott's music for him_.

PATRICK: Art, you need to calm down.

ME: Patrick!

PATRICK: Art, it's not like it used to be. Scott's not the same guy he used to be, okay? You don't have to talk to him, but please read the book.

ME: Why?

PATRICK: Because I helped write it.

_I dug it out of my gym bag. It had gotten a bit muddy. That made me childishly happy. I looked at the cover, not the just the reviews for the first time. It was a shot of all of us from one of our photo shoots after we had gotten really popular, this pic wasn't used for the magazine spread because, and I quote, the editor said "You don't look angsty and tortured enough". That was ok, because we looked happy. Robin had an arm around Aedant and Patrick's shoulders, his pale brown hair stuck up in the typical mad Kirkland fashion, clashing horribly with Aedant and Patrick's identical orange manes. The only difference between the two of the twins was gender, freckle distribution and hair length. Patrick's was in some sort of sloppy neo-modern mullet, Aedant's short and spiked up. Scott was ruffling my hair (I had dyed it green the day before, he was probably teasing me about it) and I was yelling at him, but we were both smiling. My giant of a brother, his dark red hair gelled into some sort of artfully mussed look was laughing. We all have the green Kirkland eyes. It was weird looking at all those pairs of green eyes and seeing happiness. It had been a long time. _

_I tore my eyes away from the picture and skimmed down the cover, ignoring the title (it was a play on the name of one of HBrit's songs, a song I had written for Aedant) and read the author line once again. There it was in big letters: Scott Kirkland, in smaller letter beside it, 'as told to Patrick Kirkland'. I immediately felt a bit guilty. But Patrick didn't need to know that. _

ME: Patrick, are you saying he was too lazy to write his own biography.

PATRICK: No, Art, I'm saying that he wasn't sure where to begin, but knew he wanted to get his feelings on paper. So, I helped him out. If you don't want to reconcile with him, fine, but at least read my book.

ME: Alright. I'll read it.

PATRICK: Thanks, Artie.

So you see how I could be feeling a bit guilty and a bit like an utter bastard for yelling at Patrick. He is one of the only people I know who is just plain nice. And it gets him into a world of crap. He's way too involved in Scott's train wreck. And he wants to be involved in mine. Ugh. Bastard thinks he can save the world. Drives me crazy, but at least he never gets mad. Aedant and I have had so pretty epic fights. She's scary as hell, by the way.

So I'm going to read the book. But not right now. If I tried it right now I might feel the need to burn it and I'm generally against burning literature. Even if it is my arse of a brother's life story.

**Entry: 3**

I woke up at five in the morning to my phone ringing. Never have I hated the Sex Pistols so much as when they are blasting in my ear, letting me know that my mum is calling. I considered chucking it across the room, but reconsidered when I remembered how much it cost to repair my favorite acoustic guitar after the last flying iPhone punched a hole in it. Instead I tried to smother the ringing with a pillow. When that didn't work, I kicked it under the bed. That didn't help either. Eventually I gave up and answered. Here's the conversation, such as it is,

ME: Mrgrfff

MUM: Artie, please don't just gurgle at me. I know you're more awake than that.

ME: Shrrmf.

MUM: Don't tell me to shut it, young man.

ME: What d'ya want, Mum?

MUM: Artie…

ME: Mum…

MUM: Manners.

ME: Not a gentleman.

MUM: Artie.

ME: Mum, why are you calling at five in the bloody morning?

MUM: You're leaving for tour today…

ME: If you're calling me for luck when I could be sleeping…

MUM: You'll be very appreciative, I'm sure.

ME: Mum, why are you calling?

MUM: Your cousin Alfred left for foreign exchange in America yesterday.

ME: I know, he's been texting me at every layover, the git.

MUM: Be nice, Artie, he thinks of you as his big brother, he and Maddie have been living with us since they were five and four.

ME: I know, I know, I do remember my seventh year of life.

MUM: Yes, you were so cute, little seven year old you watching out for four year old Alfred…

ME: Mum!

MUM: Well, Maddie doesn't have anything to do while her brother's in America. All you kids have moved out to your own places, and you're going on tour and I'm going to be gone on a series of business trips…

ME: Mum! I am not taking my baby cousin on tour with me!

MUM: With your father dead there just isn't anyone who can look out for her when I'm gone on work business and she'll get so lonely…

ME: Mum, please don't pull the 'dead dad' card on me, your marriage was terrible, you didn't even like him when he got hit by that car.

MUM: You're taking your cousin on tour with you. Maddie will meet you at your place in two hours.

After that she hung up the phone on me and I was stuck alternatively cursing at the ceiling and trying to go back to sleep for an hour before I decided I might as well crawl out of bed and put on real clothes. I am not happy about taking Maddie on tour. She's seventeen years old, with a pretty face, a tiny curvy body, long wavy honey-blonde hair, bright purple eyes and a quiet, gentle personality. She'll get eaten alive by these music-business sleazes. Great. Now I'll be spending all my non-performing time protecting her and avoiding that crazy Francoise woman (no, I haven't forgotten that internet conversation…And no, I did _not _immediately Google her to see if she was as hot as people said she was… yes, actually I did…and yes, they were right. And _no _I do not want to meet her to see if she's that intelligent and insightful and aggravating and interesting in person. No. Not at all. She's far too irritating.)

Anyway,the buzzer to my flat's building just went off. I'd better go collect my cousin so we can meet up with Roderich and the Bad Touch Trio at the airport. This tour is going to be hell…

**Entry: 4**

Francoise is hot. And a flirt. I'm doomed.

* * *

**To: Veronique Bonnefoy**

**From: Francoise Bonnefoy**

**RE: Tour!**

Veronique,

I hope you and Maman are enjoying your trip to Seychelles. I will probably never send this email, or any of the others I've written, but I love having someone to talk to, even if it's just imaginary you. We are on the bus to the airport for our tour. Since you can't be here, I'll give you a little hint of what's going on:

"WHOOHOO! TOUR OF AWESOME! WHOOHOO!" Gilbert yells, throwing his hands in the air and yowling like a wildcat on a sugar rush. He is so unrefined, poor thing. He will have a very hard time finding l'amour.

Antonio is humming merrily and trying to braid Chiara's hair. She keeps slapping his hands away and spitting angry Italian at him. "If you're going to be putting your hands somewhere, put them here," she finally huffs, her face red as a tomato as she places her boyfriend's hands at her waist.

"Querida!" Toni cries, wrapping his arms around her waist in a tight hug. Chiara yelps and only half-heartedly tries to push him away before settling into his hug. Ah, l'amour.

The bus comes to a sudden halt outside the studio, oh, we must be picking up Art Camelot. Roderich comes aboard, a young, fair-haired man striding beside him. A young girl with wavy blonde hair trails behind him. I can see Gilbert's eyes trained on her from here. Oh, it would seem Gilbert's found his new target.

Roderich stops in the front of the bus and clears his throat, "Bad Touch Trio, this is Art Camelot. He and his cousin, Maddie Williams-Jones will be traveling with you from this point on. Do try to play nice." He sits down and I get a good look at Art Camelot.

Oh. My. God.

He isn't all that tall, but he's lean with sharp features and what must be tight muscle beneath his black leather jacket and ripped jeans. His blond hair sticks up everywhere in that hot I-can't-be-bothered-with-this way. His eyes are like hard, glittering green emeralds. He has two piercings in one ear and one in the other. But no gauges, thank god, those are just gross. He has a slightly bitter, suspicious look on his face. The only flaw I can see with that lovely punk picture is his eyebrows. They are rather unfortunate and could use a good waxing. A silver scar slices through one of them and I wonder where he got that.

"I'm Art," he says, "Not Artie, not Arthur. I've heard of you lot, your music is halfway decent but you're amateurs. Try not to make the rookie mistakes. I'm not your bloody babysitter and I'm not cleaning up your messes or solving your problems."

"Yeah, like you've done this before," Gilbert sneers.

Art gives him a hard look, "I have."

Well then, we have a hot, arrogant bastard on the bus. I will _enjoy _teasing him. Just desserts, after all.

Your sister,

Francoise

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I hope this long chapter makes up for it. Just for clarification purposes, Veronique is Seychelles. This is my first fanfic with anything in first person, so bear with me and I'm sorry for any OOC-ness. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! I Love it when I hear from people!**


End file.
